Daniel 10: 19
“Don’t be Afraid,” he said, “for you are deeply loved by God. Be at peace; take heart and be strong.”
Over the past few weeks I have placed a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to “perform.” Stay awake, when I’m tired. Commit to projects I’m not interested in doing. Remain happy when I’m irritated. I was beginning to feel drained and defunct in my efforts to be generous with all things Ashley. I began to criticize myself for not being strong enough; not managing my time well enough; not being patient enough; not being, well…enough. Just as I hit that point of “what is the point of all this?”
You know? The moment when you feel like you are on fumes and you are being stretched in all different directions emotionally and physically? I was at that point, when a friend texted to simply say, “hey, are you ok?” It was like, in all my praying, and in my moment of distress, God was doing what He always does. He was sending help. He wasn’t sending help because I was not being brave enough. He wasn’t sending help because I wasn’t being calm enough. He wasn’t sending help because I wasn’t being faithful enough. He sent help because I AM ENOUGH.
This scripture reminds me of that. I am so much, that just a whisper of a cry for support, encouragement, and peace demanded God’s attention. As a result, He employed my angels to run to my rescue. I am so much, that even when I kept pushing, thinking I was doing the “right” thing, God sent a Word my way to tell me I don’t have to. I’m so much, that God didn’t want anymore from me than I could offer at that very moment. Why? Because in His eyes…unlike mine…I’m always enough.
“I am DEEPLY loved,” He says. That means at the core of ALL of God’s greatness, lies an affinity toward little ole me.
This weekend was Memorial Day Weekend, and I actually took it easy. I received this Word from Him Friday, so it set me up to be completely at ease over the holiday. I spent time with friends Saturday, and Sunday I had hours to myself in my yard pulling weeds. Now I know weed pulling may not sound like the most relaxing thing to you, but it was exhilarating for me!
When I walked out in to the yard, and saw how those pesky plants had overrun my beautiful shrubbery, I was determined to restore my land to it’s intended state. As I pulled the weeds, I thought to myself, how determined they were to hide the beautiful plants behind them. I thought, “that’s sort of like life.” All of these worries. All of these doubts. They are so determined to cloud my mind and convince me that I am not enough. They try to convince me that there is more, and in that clouding, that covering, my true self is hidden…just like the nice plants in my yard.
So, it goes without saying that after I pulled tons of weeds from the yard, I saw the land as it was when we bought it. Neat, clean, and colorful. I felt like it could breathe again. It reminded me that no matter how far gone things get; no matter how many weeds appear; we can always just pull them away to see the Truth.
“Be at peace,” He said, “take heart and be strong.” That’s what my friend reminded me on the call with that scripture. So am I ok? Ofcourse I am! I just had some spring cleaning to do.
I love you,